Episode 6 – Splashdown – Out Now

Happy New Week!

You notice how it’s all gone ‘Happy New Week’ and not ‘2020 can do one’ all of a sudden?

Who knew, for Scotland, the result of one football match could flip 2020 on its head?

Equally, anyone who ever tries to convince us football isn’t romantic is wrong.

We did say in the last blog we’re not the finished article as Dads. Some part of us remains caveman and ‘un-woke’. Or at the very least, that must be how it seems to those on the outside. Those who don’t get it.

(Watch these next few paragraphs because they’re attempting a walk-back escape of Houdini-esque proportions.)

We cautioned before the game, IF by some sporting miracle we were to win and qualify for the Euros by beating Serbia on their own patch, NOT to celebrate with as much (or God help us, MORE) emotion on show than when we welcomed our child/children into the world.

And then promptly fell into our own trap.

Here we are now on about Cloud 7 and a half, frantically trying to slow the descent before we’re savaged at Ground Zero.

Not ashamed to say things got a bit emosh in our house, but here’s why.

It’s not about football.

It’s not.

It’s about shared experiences with those you love the most in the world.

Those who made you cry as they were born.

Because as Dads, we know what it was like to watch our heroes qualify for big tournaments, time after time.

It’s true.

We grew up in an era of 74, 78, 82, 86, 90, 96, 98.

5 championships on the bounce, then a blip, then another 2.

Back then, our big thing was trying to get out of the group stages and into the knockouts – qualification was never effectively a formality, but certainly expected.

The adrenalin, the highs, the lows, the passion, the pride.

And as kids, who did we share it all with? Who made sense of all that hotchpotch jumble of emotions?

Who raised you on their shoulders and danced in the street after a one-in-a-million win?

Who picked you up, wiped the tears from your face, gave you a hug and made it bearable when we were dumped by minnows?

Who shared all these intense, communal, national feelings specifically with you, and taught you, this is ‘who we are’?

Yer Da’.

And our debate, our point of contest is this:

That’s not football.

It’s magic.


For us, maybe once in a lifetime stuff.

And now we have the chance to be that Dad to our kids.

Please don’t ever mistake that for ‘just a game’.

OK, and from a dissertation on the familial wonderment of watching Scotland reach the Finals of a tournament to the best feeling in the world – when your child is born.

Episode 6 is ‘Splashdown’.

Our Doula Becks is choc-full of what to do as a Dad on the big day. How to be ‘in the moment’.

Meanwhile, our Dude Dads are dealing with a Da’Lemma from Ian in Broughty Ferry who’s got an empty at the weekend, but is terrified, because this time he’s the Da’ heading away for the weekend, and not the kid trying to host a sneaky party for 800 in his parents’ absence.

Here’s how it shapes up:

Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.29
Gracie Mellis – 0.30 – 0.33
Becks Armstrong – “Splashdown! Everything you need know about the big day baby is born, AND how to help” – 0.33 – 17.35
Josh Mellis – 17.35 – 17.41
Garry Spence and Grant Stott – 17.42 – 24.12
Emilia Bouglas – 24.12 – 24.15
Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 24.15 – 25.13

You can find us wherever you normally listen to your podcasts, or right here in our player.

And if you get to the hospital, and you’re looking for some ‘welcome to the world’ music, you could do a lot worse than picking our lovingly crafted and curated Season 1 Playlist.

Next time, those first few hours and days after baby arrives, in Episode 7 – “We’ve Had A Baby! What Do We Do Now?!”

And will Grant finally get to tell his Dad joke?


Thanks for reading, listening and taking part.

Two Dud Dads x

Published by John Mellis

I've been on the radio for almost 30 years (not continuously!) and am a media bloke entrenched in one of the loveliest parts of the world. I present radio shows for Global on Smooth Radio, run an audio media company - Mellis Media - and I also work for Aberdeen Football Club and write for a number of local media outlets. But that's work. My life and passions revolve around my wife, Lynne, and our kids, Joshua and Gracie. I’m a dog father to Ernie.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: