Two Dud Dads has completed Season 1 – thanks for coming along for the ride.
In, this, the final episode, our expert fathers – The Dude Dads attempt to solve the Da’Lemma posed by Alan in Carrbridge. He thinks he’s lost his son to the X-Box.
What would you do? (Apparently, ‘enjoy the peace’ is not an option.)
And for the last time, our Doula Becks dishes out the tips for how Dad can be of most help in the first few minutes, hours and days after Baby arrives.
Here’s how it lines up for Episode 7
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.43 Emilia Bouglas – 0.43 – 0.52 Becks Armstrong – What to do immediately after the birth, the days ahead AND how Dad can help. – 0.53 – 15.02 Josh Mellis – 15.03 – 15.06 Gracie Mellis – 15.06 – 15.08 Garry Spence and Grant Stott – 15.08 – 22.57
We are Two Dud Dads – thanks for checking out this little page for our ‘How To Be Dad’ podcast.
And just like that, Season 1 is done.
Thanks for reading, see you nex
In our final episode of the Season, Baby has now arrived safely, and our focus shifts to what Dad can do in both the immediate moments after the birth, and the hours and days following, to be involved, engaged and helpful. Our Doula Becks has loads of advice on all of that.
The Dude Dads try to help Alan in Carrbridge, who’s petrified he’s lost his son Connor to the X Box!
And will Grant FINALLY get to tell his Dad Joke?
Not if we can help it!
Here’s how the show shapes up.
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.43 Emilia Bouglas – 0.43 – 0.52 Becks Armstrong – What to do immediately after the birth, the days ahead AND how Dad can help. – 0.53 – 15.02 Josh Mellis – 15.03 – 15.06 Gracie Mellis – 15.06 – 15.08 Garry Spence and Grant Stott – 15.08 – 22.57
You can find us wherever you normally listen to your podcasts, or right here in our player.
And here’s our Season 1 Playlist.
Thanks so much for checking us out. Don’t forget to tell a pal about us, and if you could, rate and review our podcast when you have the chance – we’d really appreciate it.
You can also get in touch with us any time too. We love hearing from you.
Thanks for reading, listening and getting involved.
You notice how it’s all gone ‘Happy New Week’ and not ‘2020 can do one’ all of a sudden?
Who knew, for Scotland, the result of one football match could flip 2020 on its head?
Equally, anyone who ever tries to convince us football isn’t romantic is wrong.
We did say in the last blog we’re not the finished article as Dads. Some part of us remains caveman and ‘un-woke’. Or at the very least, that must be how it seems to those on the outside. Those who don’t get it.
(Watch these next few paragraphs because they’re attempting a walk-back escape of Houdini-esque proportions.)
We cautioned before the game, IF by some sporting miracle we were to win and qualify for the Euros by beating Serbia on their own patch, NOT to celebrate with as much (or God help us, MORE) emotion on show than when we welcomed our child/children into the world.
And then promptly fell into our own trap.
Here we are now on about Cloud 7 and a half, frantically trying to slow the descent before we’re savaged at Ground Zero.
Not ashamed to say things got a bit emosh in our house, but here’s why.
It’s not about football.
It’s not.
It’s about shared experiences with those you love the most in the world.
Those who made you cry as they were born.
Because as Dads, we know what it was like to watch our heroes qualify for big tournaments, time after time.
It’s true.
We grew up in an era of 74, 78, 82, 86, 90, 96, 98.
5 championships on the bounce, then a blip, then another 2.
Back then, our big thing was trying to get out of the group stages and into the knockouts – qualification was never effectively a formality, but certainly expected.
The adrenalin, the highs, the lows, the passion, the pride.
And as kids, who did we share it all with? Who made sense of all that hotchpotch jumble of emotions?
Who raised you on their shoulders and danced in the street after a one-in-a-million win?
Who picked you up, wiped the tears from your face, gave you a hug and made it bearable when we were dumped by minnows?
Who shared all these intense, communal, national feelings specifically with you, and taught you, this is ‘who we are’?
Yer Da’.
And our debate, our point of contest is this:
That’s not football.
It’s magic.
Wonder.
For us, maybe once in a lifetime stuff.
And now we have the chance to be that Dad to our kids.
Please don’t ever mistake that for ‘just a game’.
OK, and from a dissertation on the familial wonderment of watching Scotland reach the Finals of a tournament to the best feeling in the world – when your child is born.
Episode 6 is ‘Splashdown’.
Our Doula Becks is choc-full of what to do as a Dad on the big day. How to be ‘in the moment’.
Meanwhile, our Dude Dads are dealing with a Da’Lemma from Ian in Broughty Ferry who’s got an empty at the weekend, but is terrified, because this time he’s the Da’ heading away for the weekend, and not the kid trying to host a sneaky party for 800 in his parents’ absence.
Here’s how it shapes up:
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.29 Gracie Mellis – 0.30 – 0.33 Becks Armstrong – “Splashdown! Everything you need know about the big day baby is born, AND how to help” – 0.33 – 17.35 Josh Mellis – 17.35 – 17.41 Garry Spence and Grant Stott – 17.42 – 24.12 Emilia Bouglas – 24.12 – 24.15 Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 24.15 – 25.13
You can find us wherever you normally listen to your podcasts, or right here in our player.
And if you get to the hospital, and you’re looking for some ‘welcome to the world’ music, you could do a lot worse than picking our lovingly crafted and curated Season 1 Playlist.
Next time, those first few hours and days after baby arrives, in Episode 7 – “We’ve Had A Baby! What Do We Do Now?!”
We’d like to thank our friend Gary Muircroft (and his wife Rachel) for being so candid – and a reminder if you’ve experienced the loss of a child during pregnancy, there are loads of useful resources and advice contained within our show notes and in the episode itself.
Coming next though, we travel from despair to joy in Episode 6 – Splashdown.
Our Doula Becks has heaps of insight and recommendations for how Dad can be involved, connected, engaged and (whisper it) even useful in the delivery room.
Dads – Let’s check to see how ready you are for the big moment, OK?
Is your job in delivery room to:
a) assist your partner to give birth by being alert to and obeying every single instruction thrown in your general direction
OR
b) Sit quietly in the corner counting and trimming Cubans with your cutter.
If you feel an urge, compulsion or even just the faintest whiff of desire to take one for the team in order to go down in folklore as that moment you worshipped at the alter of The Lads’ Comedy God by selecting anything other than Option A, you need to return to Episode 1 for on-boarding, and be re-immersed in the Fast Track ‘How To Be Dad’ programme that is our Two Dud Dads podcast.
We don’t type that lightly with a sense of supremacy or condescension, but if you’ve got here thinking that come this point on this day, your ‘team’ is anything other than the human delivering your offspring directly in front of you, we’ve failed as a movement.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re far from the finished article. In fact, as we type, on the morning of the day the Scottish National Football team has the chance of qualifying for our first major finals in over twenty years, a huge obstacle lies in our path.
The challenge before us is, in the event of this sporting miracle actually taking place, we don’t greet it with as much, or, (God Help Us) MORE genuine emotion than the birth of our own child.
It’s OK….we’re about 90% certain the first part won’t happen and therefore we’ll escape the fallout of the second, but STAY ALERT.
In the likelihood of glorious failure crossing our paths once more, you’ll need something to cheer you up, and that’s why we’re here with news of Episode 6 – Splashdown – out on Monday!
Everything you need to know and prepare for as the big day arrives, AND our Dude Dads, Garry Spence and Grant Stott deal with a Da’lemma from Ian in Broughty Ferry. How can he ensure his kids don’t wreck the house when he and Mum go away for the weekend and leave behind an empty?!
What would you do?
Find out what our expert Dads suggest, come Monday.
Here’s how it all shapes up.
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.29 Gracie Mellis – 0.30 – 0.33 Becks Armstrong – “Splashdown! Everything you need know about the big day baby is born, AND how to help” – 0.33 – 17.35 Josh Mellis – 17.35 – 17.41 Garry Spence and Grant Stott – 17.42 – 24.12 Emilia Bouglas – 24.12 – 24.15 Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 24.15 – 25.13
You can find us wherever you normally listen to your podcasts, or right here in our player.
And if you get to the hospital, and you’re looking for some ‘welcome to the world’ music, you could do a lot worse than picking our lovingly crafted and curated Season 1 Playlist.
Once again, thanks for checking us out. Don’t forget to tell a pal about us, and if you could, rate and review our podcast when you have the chance – we’d really appreciate it.
You can also get in touch with us any time too. We love hearing from you.
Thanks for reading, listening and getting involved.
If you’ve found Two Dud Dads for the very first time, on this, our fifth episode, normally we’d mock chastise you for taking this long in the season before stumbling upon us, but not this time, because this episode is very different.
Being honest, we set the season up this way, with a few laughs and a generally laid-back, frothy, none-too-serious vibe, specifically so this episode would resonate even more.
Like a punch to the gut from a heavyweight boxer.
Because if we’re going to properly cover every aspect of fatherhood we have to let in the darkness as well as the light.
Things can, and do, go wrong.
Fatally so.
And that’s what this episode is about.
We recorded it to throw some light on that darkness, so if you’re there, maybe you can start to find your way back.
This week, we’re not messing about with our daft stories in our ‘safe space’, or unleashing our Dude Dads for a giggle with their Dadvice.
This week is just a very raw, candid story from one of our friends, Gary.
It’s not an easy listen and we make no apology for that, but it may be the most important episode of our show you ever hear, so please do. Here’s how it shapes up.
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.29 Emilia Bouglas – 0.30 – 0.39 Gary Muircroft Part 1 – “When Things Go Wrong In A Pregnancy” – 0.40 – 17.12 Becks Armstrong – “When Things Go Wrong, And The Help You Can Find” – 17.13 – 25.37 Gary Muircroft Part 2 – 25.38 – 35.00 Gracie Mellis – 35.00 – 35.03 Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 35.04 – 35.56
For this special episode there are also a few different resources and bodies we discussed:
Catch up on all our episodes here, and pick your favourite podcast player.
Or, use ours below.
Now, in this episode Gary speaks about when everything hit him. It was when he made this film below. Consider how brave this was. Recording it in the first place must’ve been a hurdle and a half to overcome. Having done that and subsequently making the decision to go ahead and release that video – well, that was even braver.
If you haven’t listened to this episode yet, do it now, don’t read any further, and don’t watch the video.
Promise me.
You’ll only spoil it for yourself.
Listen first and then come back, OK?
Good.
No scrolling.
You promised.
OK. I believe you.
Now you can look.
It’s down there.
Worth the wait, right?
He’s a cracker.
We love Fox.
Here he is reviewing our show.
It’s enormously important to everyone involved in the show if you are currently affected by something like still birth or miscarriage, you’re able to access help so please make use of the resources out there, some of which we’ve highlighted in our show notes above. Or you can always contact us directly.
And if you could rate and review our show wherever you listen, we’d really appreciate it.
Hit subscribe while you’re there and you’ll get our episodes automatically every Monday when they come out.
Next time on Episode 6, get ready, because the big day has arrived!
That’s right!
We. Have. Splashdown.
If you are actually in the final stages of pregnancy, this will be the episode for you, and in the meantime, here’s the playlist for you, while you daydream about names and playdates.
Relax (while you can) with The Two Dud Dads Season One Playlist
Thanks for reading, listening and getting involved.
We are Two Dud Dads, and this is the online home for our ‘How To Be Dad’ podcast.
Our aim is to become better Dads and maybe take a few others along for the ride. Our show breaks down weekly into three parts, except for this week, but more on that in a moment.
Element 1 is our intention to tackle different stages of fatherhood each season of the podcast. So right now in Season 1 we’re on pregnancy. Season 2 will look at the toddler years. Season 3 – Primary School, and so on.
There’s also a kind of Problem Page element, an Agony Uncle kind of thing, where Dads with fatherhood struggles can ask for help from our expert ‘Dude Dads’. They’re like our polar opposites with years of experience and Dadvice to dispense to hopefully solve those Da’Lemmas.
The third aspect is our ‘Safe Space’ where we can discuss where we’ve gone wrong as Dads, like that time I came back from swimming lessons with the wrong kids. Turns out appealing for leniency (because I had at least brought two home should buy me pass marks, and further that I’d even managed to produce one of each flavour) was NOT the way to go. The abridged version – I fixed it.
Stage Of Life Advice, Dude Dads Dadvice and The Two Dud Dads ‘Safe Space’ make up our usual week on this show, and ordinarily with a lot of laughs.
Not this week.
This week is different.
Episode 5 is called ‘When Things Go Wrong In A Pregnancy’.
We didn’t want to do it, yet equally were driven by a knowledge we HAD to do it, because it’s entirely possible, in fact, almost certain, this is the most important episode of the entire season.
If this programme doesn’t rip you up and mess you about a bit, I want you to check yourself for a pulse.
You’ll hear a statistic in this show which astonished us. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. That figure rises to 1 in 2 depending on where you are in the world.
It’s something, which, if not experienced directly has most likely touched or impacted your life in some way, but is very rarely discussed openly, especially by men.
That is something we very much want to address, and it starts here with us welcoming a pal, and former boss, Gary Muircroft onto the show to chat about his and Rachel’s story.
You really should listen. Please.
And if this is something which is a factor in your life, please check our show notes below for some practical help and resources. Here’s how the episode shapes up.
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.29 Emilia Bouglas – 0.30 – 0.39 Gary Muircroft Part 1 – “When Things Go Wrong In A Pregnancy” – 0.40 – 17.12 Becks Armstrong – “When Things Go Wrong, And The Help You Can Find” – 17.13 – 25.37 Gary Muircroft Part 2 – 25.38 – 35.00 Gracie Mellis – 35.00 – 35.03 Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 35.04 – 35.56
For this special episode there are also a few different resources and bodies we discussed:
Two Dud Dads is our ‘How To Be Dad’ podcast, designed to make us better fathers in the long run.
If we had to sum it up in just a few words, it helps make you a little less Lad and a bit more Dad. (But who cares, Dad Bods are in, right).
That journey from Lad to Dad may be shorter for others than us though, highlighted by an episode which focuses on everything you should be doing in the latter stages of pregnancy to prepare for that little bundle of love’s impending arrival – an episode we’ve named ‘Preparing For Splashdown’.
In it we weigh up ante-natal classes, including a special type of those our Doula Becks used to run back in Oz.
It is singularly, the most Australian thing I’ve ever heard. A class called ‘Beer And Birthing’.
Broadly speaking, it was made up of a room full of partners, who were there to learn about the act of childbirth, the wonder and majesty of welcoming another living being into the world, courtesy of the vessel that is your life-partner, and the meetings started with Becks explaining, ‘OK guys, chances are, you’re going to see her sh*t. Have a beer while you get your heads round that and then I’ll fill you in on the other stuff’
That’s pretty much how I remember the telling of the story anyway, but find out in full by checking out the show. Perfect way to spend a tea break.
Also this week, our Dude Dads tackle the subject of bullying, and because we’re at the point in the pregnancy where Mum really should be putting her feet up (and Dad’s muttering under his breath like a cartoon character because he’s now the permanent designated driver and can’t have a pint until post splashdown)…..
……we’ve unveiled our Two Dud Dads Season One Playlist, full of songs written by some of the biggest stars to their little ones, or about the impact their kids have made upon them. Some beautiful songs to relax to in there, in these remaining few moments you can.
Typically, it wouldn’t be a Two Dud Dads playlist if it didn’t run perilously close to ballsing up the entire intention of the thing in the first place by playing fast and loose with Track 1, our delusional, conceited tribute to Dad’s input in this pregnancy journey, right at the outset. Bear in mind, you’re dealing with an immaturity level you may previously have only encountered in our trailers.
Hello again – and thanks for checking out ‘Two Dud Dads’, and finding us here, the online home for our ‘How To Be Dad’ podcast.
It breaks down to a few bits each week. There’s the part where we follow the life of a child and how Dad should tackle the various challenges which accompany that stage.
So, that part for Season 1 is all about pregnancy, and covered brilliantly by our Doula, Becks Armstrong.
In the last episode it was all about cravings and mood swings.
The second piece of the show is kind of like a ‘Problem Page’ for Dads struggling with a fatherhood issue of some kind, or, as we like to call it, a ‘Da’Lemma’.
For that section we’ve enlisted the services of a couple of expert Dads – Garry Spence and Grant Stott.
You know them through various media, but what you probably weren’t aware of until right now is that they’re more than qualified to fulfil the roles of our ‘Dude Dads’, given Grant’s background as a Dad of a pair of grown-up kids, one of each flavour, Sam and Lori. And Garry, has three of his own, including 8 year old twin girls (Hollie and Rachel) along with 4 year old son, Charlie.
Using their combined wisdom, they listen to these Da’Lemmas before dispensing their collective Dadvice.
And the third piece of the show is our ‘Safe Space’, where we can chat about where we’ve messed up as Dads in our week, or in our past where it’s relevant to that week’s episode.
Episode 3 was the first show this series, where we’ve needed that space, and more specifically, THIS space.
Find out WHY it was so important by checking out our player below and sticking on Episode 3. On this week’s show, (easily the best way to spend a tea break, and short enough to fit into one), we check out the merits of ante-natal classes, Pete from Glasgow contacts The Dude Dads on what to do about school bullies, AND we’re approaching the stage of pregnancy where Mum can put her feet up and ring a bell whenever she wants something. That’s why we’ve created the ultimate Mum-To-Be playlist we reckon you’ll love, bursting at the seams with songs written by music stars for their little ones or about the impact those kids have made on them. That’s directly after a couple of songs at the start we’ve included about Dad’s involvement in the pregnancy ‘creative process’. Effectively, that probably means we’ve ballsed the entire thing up, but what else would you expect from ‘Two Dud Dads”?!
Here’s how Episode 4 shapes up.
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 1.43 Josh Mellis – 1.44 – 1.47 Becks Armstrong – ‘Are Ante Natal Classes worthwhile? Beer And Birthing’ – 1.48 – 10.13 Gracie Mellis – 10.14 – 10.17 Garry Spence and Grant Stott – The Dude Dads, Da’Lemma 3, Pete in Glasgow – 10.18 – 17.30 Emilia Bouglas – 17.30 – 17.39 Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 17.40 – 18.30
If you haven’t checked out our podcast yet, here’s that bit they do to catch up at the start of American TV shows.
Previously on Two Dud Dads….
Boogie and John Mellis are two Scottish Radio DJs and lifelong friends. They’re also Dads, but they’re not very good at it and are reminded of this on a regular basis, when they do things like forget to pick up their kids from swimming/football/tennis/martial arts/pony trekking, or, worse still, remember, but come home with the wrong kids.
(It was only twice!)
So they resolved to start this podcast to try and improve as Dads and maybe help you do the same by joining them on their journey through fatherhood as they travel from Conception to Completion. (We realise that most likely means our own deaths, and truthfully, we’re not that committed but it alliterated nicely so we ran with it).
In Season 1 they’re joined by Doula and women’s health expert, Becks Armstrong who provides a guide through pregnancy, so men can actually understand more readily what’s going on, and may even be useful! Who’d have thunk it.
AND each week, if you have a Dad problem, where no-one else can help, and if you can find them, you might be able to hire….The Dude Dads.
You may know Garry Spence and Grant Stott from their respective radio shows, TV, print or panto, but you don’t know them as Dads, unless you’re Hollie, Rachel or Charlie Spence, or Sam or Lori Stott.
Each week, they delve into the wealth of that experience to help Dads with Da’lemmas, and then dispense their Dadvice.
How would you tackle this one from Episode 3?
Chris in Edinburgh – He’s Eilidh’s Dad. Eilidh is 14, and is getting attention from boys…Chris doesn’t like ANY of them, but Eilidh’s decided she likes one….called Ross, and they’re going out. Eilidh wants to have Ross round to the house and most likely, up to her room.
Aye, who’s chuckling at the end of this one?!
Spoiler Alert: Probably not Ross.
Meanwhile, Becks takes us through Cravings And Mood Swings, which made social distancing for safety’s sake a necessity before it was even a thing.
Listen, where you like, how you like, whenever you like….
Or scroll through and listen to our episodes right here.
If you could, rate, review and subscribe, and don’t forget to tell a friend by sharing us about too.
And if you have a Da’Lemma, a funny Dad story or just want to chat, get in touch anytime. We love hearing from you.
Thanks for reading, listening and getting involved.
Our ‘How To Be Dad’ podcast is approaching Episode 3, and so far we haven’t used it as our safe haven, a space we can use to talk about our failings, (where either of us has messed up as a Dad), without fear of being judged or punished for the offence.
That changes this episode though as John explains how he almost became a Cravings Related Casualty.
Becks, our Doula and women’s health expert is guiding us through everything we need to know about pregnancy, especially from Dad’s point of view. This week is all about what’s actually happening to cause those cravings and mood swings.
And we include full costings and instructions for the installation of your own panic room, so you can ride out the worst of the mood swings in an enclosed, comfortable environment.
No, not really.
If you spotted up front that was sarcasm there’s a sliver of hope you may be a salvageable father.
If not, find Episode 1 and start this season afresh – you’re letting the side down.
All joking aside, if you have only stumbled across us here by chance, please make sure you tap in for the full season at some point, and when you do if you could rate and review our podcasts we’d be really grateful. Feel free to share it with friends and family too. And if you hit subscribe you’ll get all the episodes as soon as they come out.
However you choose to check out your podcasts, I guarantee you’ll find it here.
Or, alternatively, check out the latest episodes in the player.
In Episode 3, our Dude Dads, Garry Spence and Grant Stott tackle their toughest Da’ Lemma to date.
Two Dud Dads 