Hey!
We are Two Dud Dads – thanks for checking out our little home online.
If you’ve just got here having listened to Episode 5 – When Things Go Wrong In A Pregnancy we know it was an emotional rollercoaster, for which we make no apology whatsoever.
We’d like to thank our friend Gary Muircroft (and his wife Rachel) for being so candid – and a reminder if you’ve experienced the loss of a child during pregnancy, there are loads of useful resources and advice contained within our show notes and in the episode itself.
Coming next though, we travel from despair to joy in Episode 6 – Splashdown.
Our Doula Becks has heaps of insight and recommendations for how Dad can be involved, connected, engaged and (whisper it) even useful in the delivery room.
Dads – Let’s check to see how ready you are for the big moment, OK?
Is your job in delivery room to:
a) assist your partner to give birth by being alert to and obeying every single instruction thrown in your general direction

OR
b) Sit quietly in the corner counting and trimming Cubans with your cutter.

If you feel an urge, compulsion or even just the faintest whiff of desire to take one for the team in order to go down in folklore as that moment you worshipped at the alter of The Lads’ Comedy God by selecting anything other than Option A, you need to return to Episode 1 for on-boarding, and be re-immersed in the Fast Track ‘How To Be Dad’ programme that is our Two Dud Dads podcast.
We don’t type that lightly with a sense of supremacy or condescension, but if you’ve got here thinking that come this point on this day, your ‘team’ is anything other than the human delivering your offspring directly in front of you, we’ve failed as a movement.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re far from the finished article. In fact, as we type, on the morning of the day the Scottish National Football team has the chance of qualifying for our first major finals in over twenty years, a huge obstacle lies in our path.
The challenge before us is, in the event of this sporting miracle actually taking place, we don’t greet it with as much, or, (God Help Us) MORE genuine emotion than the birth of our own child.
It’s OK….we’re about 90% certain the first part won’t happen and therefore we’ll escape the fallout of the second, but STAY ALERT.

In the likelihood of glorious failure crossing our paths once more, you’ll need something to cheer you up, and that’s why we’re here with news of Episode 6 – Splashdown – out on Monday!
Everything you need to know and prepare for as the big day arrives, AND our Dude Dads, Garry Spence and Grant Stott deal with a Da’lemma from Ian in Broughty Ferry. How can he ensure his kids don’t wreck the house when he and Mum go away for the weekend and leave behind an empty?!
What would you do?
Find out what our expert Dads suggest, come Monday.
Here’s how it all shapes up.
Boogie and John Mellis – Introduction 0 – 0.29
Gracie Mellis – 0.30 – 0.33
Becks Armstrong – “Splashdown! Everything you need know about the big day baby is born, AND how to help” – 0.33 – 17.35
Josh Mellis – 17.35 – 17.41
Garry Spence and Grant Stott – 17.42 – 24.12
Emilia Bouglas – 24.12 – 24.15
Boogie and John Mellis – On next week’s show…. 24.15 – 25.13
You can find us wherever you normally listen to your podcasts, or right here in our player.
And if you get to the hospital, and you’re looking for some ‘welcome to the world’ music, you could do a lot worse than picking our lovingly crafted and curated Season 1 Playlist.
Once again, thanks for checking us out. Don’t forget to tell a pal about us, and if you could, rate and review our podcast when you have the chance – we’d really appreciate it.
You can also get in touch with us any time too. We love hearing from you.
Thanks for reading, listening and getting involved.
Two Dud Dads x